As I sat on the couch giggling at Justin’s BLOG SPOT (HA HA HA), I thought “did we attend the same doc appointment, are we living the same life?” I realized it was time I cyber-up and put my own post out there for the world to see. I will try to give a shortened version so you don’t have to hear our rambling twice.
After a night of worry and prayer because my sweet baby was going to be put to sleep for the second time this month (knowing she has one more time in May), we got up around 4 to rush out the door to make our 5:30 appointment. Now, I wouldn’t say punctuality is a strength of ours, but dang it if we weren’t on time! B was given the first appointment because she is young and if she has MD there are several risk factors for her if she gets certain kinds of anesthesia. Yes, the anesthesiologist was so nice and goofy. However, when he made a comment about something borderline inappropriate it makes you take a second look and hold your baby a little tighter. I giggle again knowing Justin compared himself to the guy! Children’s was super nice to make us wait over two hours to get the party started. It was like sitting on an airplane when they announce your plane is having a technical difficulty but want you to "hang tight." Lots of time to let my cold, tired, hungry and non-showered mind run wild! Lots of time trying to keep B busy so she doesn’t realize how hungry she was! About 7:45 I’m pretty sure B wondered if I ate a can of spinach as my death grip on her tightened. What she couldn’t see was that a strange man was walking in to pry her from my arms and carry her away for surgery. This is the part that really sucker punches me because most parents can say “bye-bye baby, I love you,” or at least their little one gets to see mommy and daddy saying bye bye and blowing kisses…. Nope, not my snuggle bunny.
Now we wait again….. Two hours later a completely different face pops in to say, “Bentley isn’t waking up. Her oxygen levels are low. So, we need you to come get her moving.” The door shuts and the crocodile tears appear. What do they mean she won’t wake up??? After the MRI she woke up relatively fast. We got moved to a different area to try and wake B up. They bring out our sleeping beauty with a new 12 foot long wound (looked like they put a golf ball under her skin) and 50 tubes coming out of her (croc tears turned to a steady stream!). After fearfully watching the monitor and moving B around for an hour, she let out a few cries and got her oxygen levels up. For the record, an hour is an eternity when you are trying to wake up your 5 month old! Several times through this process it was mentioned that we may have to spend the night for overnight observation.
Long story longer, B woke up and was smiling by the time we got back to the room! I could breathe again! When she smiles I like to think God is sharing something special with her, or Bill (Justin’s dad) is sharing funny stories about Justin growing up (we know there has to be a million, he is a funny guy). Now we just hold on and wait for the CT scan in May. I love hospitals! In all seriousness, Children’s has been nothing but wonderful and their quality care is 100%! I always wish my sweet B could see the brightly colored halls and how fun her hospital gowns are! Making it a more tactile experience would be my only suggestion for the perfect place.
So you see that it is best that my wonderful, strong and positive husband continues to make the post. I like the pictures that Justin paints way more than my reality. It is ironic because I’m the one that typically paints the rainbows and shoves out sunshine. Justin never puts it out there how unfair it is that my precious innocent B will never wake up to her mother’s comforting face or her daddy’s silly looks. He never mentions how it’s like a sucker punch every time a kid lights up and screams “MOMM/DADDY” because they SEE or HEAR them. Ok- I’ll stop. Everyone go hug your babies, young or old. Put down your iPhones and get off Facebook to go have a conversation with and play with your kid that can run free and say "momma, watch this," and "look at this.” If my angel has taught me anything it’s don’t take the little things for granted. This has brought "don’t sweat the small stuff" to a whole new level!!
We do agree on one thing. If you ever have questions and want to ask about her, please do. Those that know me would agree that I’m a bit old school when it comes to communicating. I’m also very private. Not that I frown on my Facebook/texting/twiterized/instagramming friends, but call me, lets gets dinner, go for a walk or sit in sweats with a bottle of wine and a yummy snack and sit down to chat in person. Sitting with an old friend in a Mexican restaurant with cheese dip helped me survive last week….. again, the simple things. I’ll warn you though, if one more person says, “how are you?" They might just get the real answer. How do you think I’m doing? As a friend told me, "I’m good enough." The more people on this crazy ride the better…. I’d rather rent a stretch limo than a Mo-ped. Know what I mean Vern? The letters, meals, and prayers we have gotten mean the world to us and help me feel a little less alone on the bad days. God is good and I am reminded of that every time someone reaches out or my sweet girl touches my face and smiles. Justin and I will be fine, God assures me of that. He is my Ninja!
Now we wait again….. Two hours later a completely different face pops in to say, “Bentley isn’t waking up. Her oxygen levels are low. So, we need you to come get her moving.” The door shuts and the crocodile tears appear. What do they mean she won’t wake up??? After the MRI she woke up relatively fast. We got moved to a different area to try and wake B up. They bring out our sleeping beauty with a new 12 foot long wound (looked like they put a golf ball under her skin) and 50 tubes coming out of her (croc tears turned to a steady stream!). After fearfully watching the monitor and moving B around for an hour, she let out a few cries and got her oxygen levels up. For the record, an hour is an eternity when you are trying to wake up your 5 month old! Several times through this process it was mentioned that we may have to spend the night for overnight observation.
Long story longer, B woke up and was smiling by the time we got back to the room! I could breathe again! When she smiles I like to think God is sharing something special with her, or Bill (Justin’s dad) is sharing funny stories about Justin growing up (we know there has to be a million, he is a funny guy). Now we just hold on and wait for the CT scan in May. I love hospitals! In all seriousness, Children’s has been nothing but wonderful and their quality care is 100%! I always wish my sweet B could see the brightly colored halls and how fun her hospital gowns are! Making it a more tactile experience would be my only suggestion for the perfect place.
So you see that it is best that my wonderful, strong and positive husband continues to make the post. I like the pictures that Justin paints way more than my reality. It is ironic because I’m the one that typically paints the rainbows and shoves out sunshine. Justin never puts it out there how unfair it is that my precious innocent B will never wake up to her mother’s comforting face or her daddy’s silly looks. He never mentions how it’s like a sucker punch every time a kid lights up and screams “MOMM/DADDY” because they SEE or HEAR them. Ok- I’ll stop. Everyone go hug your babies, young or old. Put down your iPhones and get off Facebook to go have a conversation with and play with your kid that can run free and say "momma, watch this," and "look at this.” If my angel has taught me anything it’s don’t take the little things for granted. This has brought "don’t sweat the small stuff" to a whole new level!!
We do agree on one thing. If you ever have questions and want to ask about her, please do. Those that know me would agree that I’m a bit old school when it comes to communicating. I’m also very private. Not that I frown on my Facebook/texting/twiterized/instagramming friends, but call me, lets gets dinner, go for a walk or sit in sweats with a bottle of wine and a yummy snack and sit down to chat in person. Sitting with an old friend in a Mexican restaurant with cheese dip helped me survive last week….. again, the simple things. I’ll warn you though, if one more person says, “how are you?" They might just get the real answer. How do you think I’m doing? As a friend told me, "I’m good enough." The more people on this crazy ride the better…. I’d rather rent a stretch limo than a Mo-ped. Know what I mean Vern? The letters, meals, and prayers we have gotten mean the world to us and help me feel a little less alone on the bad days. God is good and I am reminded of that every time someone reaches out or my sweet girl touches my face and smiles. Justin and I will be fine, God assures me of that. He is my Ninja!
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